“Motherly Fudge” sounds like somebody’s grandmother’s book of dessert recipes, but it’s really just a blog I’ve recently created as a final resting place for all of the crazy in my life. It is meant to give strangers and friends alike a window into what we all struggle with every day – surviving the day to day.
I am a twenty-something wife and mom of two toddler boys, with a third boy due towards the end of May this year. I no longer have just a family – we are a tribe now. And I want to write about us.
I’ve yet to announce this third pregnancy, with the exception of close friends and family. I’m not hiding it, but I haven’t officially announced it to the world yet either. Mainly because after two other pregnancies, I’ve finally learned that I don’t have to.
Half of what was so unpleasant for me through the first two times I was pregnant was the constant pressure I felt from outside sources – about every single aspect of my life. With this one, I’ve eliminated most of those pressures and it’s actually been pleasant.
I’ve really enjoyed this pregnancy so far, which is incredibly foreign to me and I’ve been trying to savor it as long as possible.
Just to get it out of the way, yes, we were kind of hoping for a girl. And no, I wasn’t even slightly disappointed when we discovered it was another boy. I am stoked.
I am a boy mom, through and through. I’ve always known this in my heart and it’s now been proven by my own physical being. I’ve never gotten along well with other girls. I never seemed to be interested in what they were interested in. There are plenty of feminine things that I enjoy but I tend to lean more towards the outdoors and activities that boys generally enjoy.
I am a little rough around the edges, and my boys have come to understand, and respect this now. They also know that I am incredibly soft for them and almost always willing for a snug fest as well. Now that I’ve known “little boy love”, and felt what it is to be their mom, I can’t imagine being anything else.
It’s weird to have three kids when I never believed I’d have one, and it’s weird that I feel so calm and peaceful about it – that I’m looking forward to it, that I feel ready for it. Because it is not, by any means, an easy job. It’s not always fun, the boys are not always cute, and nothing ever goes as planned, but it feels good to finally go with it all.
Since having my first almost four years ago now, I have learned how to embrace the… busy energy. I enjoy the crazy. My life is very quiet, too quiet, in those rare moments without their energy, so why not add a little more to the mix?